A wonderful example of financial management

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First begger: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-, and enjoyed the dinner.
When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the police man, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

Life of Software Engineers

Jack n Jill - Our News Channels

Here’s how the Indian TV news channels would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.

Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack”]

Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?

Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled”]

Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Amrita
And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown

Amrita
Go on.

Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.

Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “Water errand ends in tragedy”]

Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

The Corporate Communication !!

> Engineer to Team Leader:
>
> "We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design
> change and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above
> that, no body in our company knows the formulation in which this
> application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it,
> they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never
> take these type of projects."
>
>
> Team Leader to Project Manager:
>
> "This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any
> staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is
> unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we
> take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a
> project of this nature."
>
>
> Project Manager to General Manager:
>
> "This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have
> much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are
> appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able
> to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete
> it."
>
>
> General Manager to Vice President :
>
> "This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who
> have worked in this area and others who know the implementation
> language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we
> should take this project, but with caution."
>
>
> Vice President to CEO :
>
> "This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in
> remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the
> necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some
> people have already given in house training in this area to other staff
> members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by
> us under any circumstances."
>
>
> CEO to Client :
>
> "This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have
> executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust
> me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for
> doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute
> this project successfully and well within the given time frame.